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This was never going to work out. Especially, right now. All because of one thing, the intention behind the quest. The intention did not align with the Universe. God. I feel silly knowing the truth in that, but still choosing to seek. I find it fascinating that still there is space for improvement. Space for growth. Almost like a tree, minus, they do have boundaries. I have been in a space of joy. I had to lean into my sickness which meant sleeping it off. Three weeks, it has

Me, right now. Which allows me space to wallow. I am the biggest baby when sick. Sick, sick. Not man cold or mom cold. A fever that takes me down. Then I walllow. Loneliness seems louder. The desire to be cared for. Then my helicopter mom comes in. She did take my youngest so I could sleep. She also managed dinner duty. And driving experience for my oldest. I feel grateful for my village. It is small but mighty. But that never helps when you are shaking from a fever, hacking

This is it. The harmony of this part. No pressure to seek but rather be. Maybe the push to begin this journey was more about this journey. Documenting this crazy, amazing life. Full of too many possibilities and options. I do feel a pull towards a path. It is the most beautiful path. And my children along for the journey. Soon they will start their own journeys, like roots of a plant. If you do not know what I am talking about, go to Home Depot right now and de pot a plant. I

The return on investment was not worth it. I think I knew eventually I would be here, but I did not foresee it happening so quickly. But then again, I see my time outside of all of my requirements (work, school, internship) as precious. Finding a reason to spend time meeting people over time with my children or myself was never going to happen. I think I also had a very unrealistic view of what I was actually capable of doing. Long hours, not just a 9-5 type of situation, but

Here is my thought process. I will remain within the box of being a member of society. But why not push against it? This is kind of one of the cruelest storylines. I hate it. And each layer deeper within discovery just makes me hate it even more. Tonight was understanding that we all have the capacity to heal. Long story. My system felt that one. I yelled at God, "You could have!" I know this is the path because He chose one for many lives. But it is probably the most isolat

There are mainly two types of people in this world. The Fearful The Fearless Who are you? How do you make decisions? Are you a thrill seeker? How do you plan? What do you do in your free time? There was a point in this journey where I was ridden with anxiety. This weight was debilitating. One day, I thought, what are my options? I begin a list on my phone. A. Work part-time for multiple organizations. B. Work full-time for one organization. C., D., E., F., G., H., I... A is t

(SEU Worship) Another pivot. I think maybe I have been experimenting to see what best works for me. Mainly because this story is about me but also we know, you put on your mask first, then help your children. They are and will always be my number one priority. It does feel like I am in a space of peace. Yes, my life is chaotic. I am a 100% custodial parent of three children. I am a part-time employee mentoring students in the area. I am a full-time graduate student. I am in a

I could pay to be "perfect." Women do it all the time. Pay to have the boobs they want. Or the nose. I could. A few minor adjustments. But I am also curious to see what happens when... Curiosity! I find so many parts in my life, I am curious. What happens? Most recently it has surrounded my life. Professionally and personally. I never feel disappointed about the outcome, because being curious prevents a person from having expectations. You continue to wonder. This why I am co

An unpolished, quick snippet of one of the many things I do during my free time. Mostly, uploading this was for me to better understanding Wix.

At one point in this journey, I chose not to be heard. And I found so much peace there. It is hard not to want to turn around and retreat back into the peace of my life. I much prefer the quiet spaces. I am an introvert, but I am realizing that the quest must continue. Unfortunately, I tried to record a video to upload to this blog, but it was too long. The video was just a recording of my voice explaining this. There is flow within the path of my career. I am also connectin

By Need to Breathe I love this song for some reason. I originally wanted to weave my thread throughout my story, but I decided to tell the "now." There are plenty of pre-stories, but this is the story of now. I hope that, if anything from reading these, you will learn something. I know what I know is already impactful because I use some of the things that worked for me with clients. Not saying that this story is worthy of your time. It is not really, in the big picture. Even

Today, I am grateful for: My morning tea in my handmade mug right before work. My walk during my break. The necessary refuel. Dinner for later A full day of impact. My family Harmony

I wanted to fully develop this experience before re-entering the world. I had a vision of how it would look and how a person could interact with it all. I find myself pointing fingers at my current life—my job, school, field experience, and kids. It’s true that, during the brief moments I had free from those responsibilities, I was busy organizing or planning for what was next. So, I just have to take this step forward and build yet another plane mid-air. I believe I’m well-s

See, the problem is… I like it here. I truly do. There’s In your resistance you get tired, and so, you need rest. And so, you go from resistance to rest to resistance to rest. But what about rest to eagerness, rest to passion, rest to alignment, rest to clarity, rest to brilliance? You can get this Energy moving within you and when you are up to speed with that Energy, you are clever; you are fun; you are full of vitality; your timing is good! Then you are living life as you

In a single moment, everything can change. One moment can bring joy or sorrow, connection or loss. I am reminded of this profound truth when I reflect on the significance of Christ's death—it means our eternal salvation. Yet, I also feel the weight of my husband’s death, which serves as a poignant reminder of life’s fragility. As I ponder the brevity of our time on Earth, I find myself questioning why God created something so transient, knowing we have no way to gauge when ou

This book is dedicated to the people of Book 1. Your part in my story has given me an inner strength that I never knew I possessed, and a profound relationship with God that has transformed my life. Not long ago, I shared with a character from Book 1 just before they departed, “These are the experiences that draw a person closer to God.” Every attempt to divert me from my faith and purpose was in vain. Here I stand. Embarking on a journey that passionately seeks something gre