Fearless or Fearful?

There are mainly two types of people in this world.

The Fearful

The Fearless

Who are you?

How do you make decisions?

Are you a thrill seeker?

How do you plan?

What do you do in your free time?

There was a point in this journey where I was ridden with anxiety. This weight was debilitating.

One day, I thought, what are my options?

I begin a list on my phone.

A. Work part-time for multiple organizations.

B. Work full-time for one organization.

C., D., E., F., G., H., I...

A is the top option. The option I want.

And I am currently on track for that to be the permanent option. Two are already lined up.

Creativity is like God.

Anxiety is the opposite.

By no means am I perfect. I still have moments but, I have options.

If you are curious, the list is of options before my children and I are homeless.

If you want to judge, let me set it up for you. I was one year into my widowhood. I had lost the job I had for 12 years. I had no clue how I was going to manage this life without my salary or benefits. My benefits were terrible. I had just been programmed to believe in order for me to be successful I needed to have certain things.

Shortly after 7 months of running from the pain of my new narrative, I decided to heal and from it, I had an opportunity to build my list and my confidence.

And I am so excited about this next part.

I will always resort to I hate that this is my narrative and would always choose my husband's life over this narrative.

But this next part, the one that happens in five years, lol. I am building it now. I hope I can make it happen before five years but that is when I am a free agent. That part, I am excited about.

I will add that this part does not necessarily include a man. I wish it did but I am finding that one has flow while the other does not.

Which one are you?