Celibacy as a Magnet

During my recent 96-hour fast, I experienced a level of psychological clarity that I can only describe as intoxicating. It was a headspace so profound that I desperately wanted to stay there. I couldn't hold onto it forever, but the experience shifted something inside me. Now, as I plan my next fast, I find myself sitting with a new question: Will I have the same willpower and discipline this time, now that I know exactly what kind of mental magic is waiting for me on the other side?

​But the clarity didn't just leave me craving another fast. It forced me to look at my life, my patterns, and how I connect with others.

​One of the heaviest truths I uncovered during those 96 hours is a pattern I’ve repeated for years: Too often, I cannot find a man who can reach my level.

​This creates an immediate, frustrating disconnect. And to bridge that gap—to form some semblance of a connection—I default to the physical.

​Unfortunately, it’s a temporary fix. Because the connection isn't built on anything true, it cannot withstand the necessary pressure required to build something deeper. So, inevitably, the interaction fails.

​I realized I needed a radical shift. I needed to become celibate.

​To be clear: I don't just mean pausing sex with others. I mean eliminating all things sexual, including masturbation.

​Let's be real—this is going to be far harder for me than not eating. I love sex. I have always said it is my number one drug of choice. But it is time to put it down.

​My thought process behind this experiment is rooted in energy. If I remove the sexual energy leaks within my life, I believe my power to attract "the one" will become exponentially more magnetic. The longer I abstain, the more concentrated and potent that energetic frequency will become.

​Now, there is a flip side to this coin.

​Operating at a higher magnetic frequency means I am also going to attract plenty of men who are solely drawn to that raw, sexual energy—not to me as a whole person. A man once told me that I "ooze sexuality," even when I'm just wearing a basic t-shirt, my hair is up in a clip, and I have my glasses on.

It’s just there.

​Because of that, finding a way to vet people—to ensure I do not waste my time, my mind, or my energy—is going to be incredibly important moving forward.

​I am stepping into this next chapter curious, disciplined, and ready to see if my theory holds weight. It's time to see what happens when the energy is entirely mine to keep.